Victoria's Revenge  Sequel to THIS MEANS WAR
by SinisterSweet07
Summary: So it all comes down to this. Victoria was going down. Werewolves,vampires,Chip Skylark,and snappy the vampire turtle! Not to mention a still not sober Bella. She was easily outnumbered. BxE
1. Samara Morgan

**_At the Cullen Household:_**

Shortly after Victoria escaped,the werewolves,vampires,and Bella all headed over to the Cullen house outside Forks to come up with a plan. They all took their seats on the couches with a large poster board set out on the floor,with Carlisle kneeling next to it with a magic marker. The other Cullens were called back from ::insert some place they went during New Moon here:: and told to meet them there. And they did. And when I said taking their seats on couches - I meant the werewolves and the vampires. The still-not-sober-Bella sat on the floor talking to the carpet.

" So here's the plan." Carlisle said. " You three wolves line up the perimeter going down the beach and - "

_..doesn't matter where  
Doesn't matter when  
I will be there for you  
Til' the very end  
Danger or trouble  
I'm there on the double  
You know that you always  
Can call  
Kim possib -_

" Hello?" Rosalie asked,finally answering her phone.

" Ha. And you guys thought my ring tone was weird." Jake said,smiling.

Yes,Rosalie Hale's ring tone is none other but Kim Possible.

" _Seven days." _A childish voice hissed eerily into the phone.

" I think you got the wrong number,hun." Rosalie hung up,scowling.

" Now where was I?" Carlisle asked. " Oh yes - Edward,Jasper,and Emmett will do some tracking based on scent and - "

They were interrupted by the fridge door opening by itself,which they could see because the kitchen door was open. They all looked at each other,wondering how that happened. Jasper got up,walked into the kitchen,and shut the door sighing. He started to walk back to the living room,but it happened again. He growled,slamming the fridge door shut.

Suddenly the TV went on,but was all static. Then an image came on the screen. It was a well. And trees. A well? They all stared at it,completely confused. Then a little girl coming out of the well. The girl's hair was in her face,and only her left eye showing. She outstretched her arms like a zombie as she walked forward,getting bigger and bigger coming closer to the screen.

" What is this? Emmett,is this one of your practical jokes?" Alice scowled at him. 

" I know you guys are vampires and everything,but yall' are freaks." Quil said,watching the creepy little girl climb out of the well.

Suddenly there was a puddle of water under the TV. And Quil started getting a nose bleed. He got some very appetizing looks from the vampires as blood dripped from his nose,but his werewolf scent clearly kept them away.

" Turn off the TV. This is ridiculous." Esme sighed.

" I am. But its not working." Carlisle said,pushing a bunch of buttons.

Then the girl was closer to the screen than ever. Her arms stretched out towards the screen,and actually came out of the TV. Ten horrified screams came from everyone,except for Bella who was still totally clue less. They jumped back.

" How the hell did that happen?" Edward asked.

" Di-did-did..that girl just come..out of the TV?" Jasper asked.

Then the girl's head stuck out of the screen,her long wiry black hair coming out also and hanging down to the floor,her grimy feet and legs and her torn and tattered night gown coming with her. They watched astonished as a little girl came out of their plasma screen TV. The girl fell out completely and hit the floor hard.

" Ow." Samara said,rubbing her head.

She stood up in a zombie like way,heading towards Emmett.

" EEEMMEEEETTT." The girl said,staggering towards him.

Everyone looked at him.

" I didn't do anything! I swear!" Emmett yelled.

Rosalie finally decided to take action. She stood up and grabbed Samara by the hair and yanked her backwards.

" Listen chick,we are trying to do something here!" Rosalie hissed,giving Samara a very angry glare.

" I'm sorry!" Samara whimpered,frightened by Rosalie's looks.

Samara turned around and ran back into the TV. As quickly as possible Samara ran across the dead leaves and grass not what not and plunged herself head first into the well. The well closed up and the TV shut off,leaving everyone stunned.

" Hey!" Bella yelled,looking at the TV. " She came to my birthday party two years ago!"

" Anyways..back to the plan.." Carlisle said,shaking his head as if nothing ever happened.

The average day in Forks.

Vampires

Werwolves

Samara Morgan?

Oh my.


	2. Playing house with Victoria

_**While the vampires/werewolves were downstairs plotting:**_

Bella sat in Edward's room playing with a soup ladle they gave her to keep her occupied. Nobody was really paying any attention to what she was doing. How much trouble can a girl get into while playing with a soup ladle in her ex vampire boyfriend's bedroom? For Bella,many things were possible. In Forks,anything can happen.

" Mr. Soup Ladle,your my new best friend." Bella said. " I promise to love you for all of eternity and stuff like that. And I won't lie and say I will and then leave you in the forest to die and grow old and ugly and what not."

" Hello,Bella." said an evil voice.

" Oh my gosh! The soup ladle can talk!" Bella exclaimed. " I can't believe this. I need to sell you on ebay! Wow,I wonder how much people will pay for talking soup ladles."

" No,idiotic human." Someone tapped her on the shoulder. " This isn't the soup ladle."

Bella turned her head slowly.

" Is it...the pillow?" Bella asked.

" Its Victoria." Victoria smiled.

Bella's mouth fell open and her eyes lit up excitedly.

" Wanna have a tea party?"

" No. I want to kill you."

" Nah,I think tea parties are much funner. Now come on! Go get yourself a tea cup from the kitchen. I'm sure Esme won't mind." Bella smiled,patting the space next to her for Victoria to sit.

" Uh.."

" No! I have a better idea! Lets play house!" Bella squealed. " I'll be the baby and you be the mommy! Like oh my gosh! Yes!"

" Um I - " Victoria was saying.

" Alright. Now here's the baby sister." Bella said,pulling a random baby doll out from behind her house. She cradles it in her arms,stood up,and gave it to Victoria.

" Isabella I think I should just kill you and go now its kinda ridiculous. I mean everyone is downstairs making plans to kill me as we speak so- "

" No buts! Go march to your room and baby sit your sister! Mommy is going to run some errands!" Bella said.

**Downstairs:**

" Don't you think we should go check on Bella?" Jasper asked. " It's been about a half hour since we put her up there. What is she doing anyways?"

" Playing with a soup ladle. No harm done." Rosalie shrugged as she filed her nails some more.

" How much trouble can a human get into in a bedroom?" Sam Uley asked.

" It's Bella,guys." Jasper said. " She does a have tendency.."

" She's fine,trust me." Rosalie smiled.

" Now let's get back to planning this out." Carlisle said. " Bella can stay here. We can have Emmett and Edward stay here,guarding the door in case Victoria decides to come here. Edward can guard the door outside,or stay in here with Bella. He can decide."

Jacob Black: shifty eyes.

" Victoria won't come here,though. She's too afraid to come near us." Emmett smiled.

**Upstairs**

**Edward's room**

**The couch/**

**Victoria's make believe bedroom**

**I think **

**You get the point**

" Dinner's almost ready!" Bella yelled from the floor as she patted some play-doh together to make some dinner. She found the play-doh in god-knows-where when she ran her "errands". She took some yellow and pink and squashed it together. " And your gonna eat it all gone or you won't get dessert."

Bella pointed to a pile of red and purple blobs when she said "dessert".

" Bella I really need to kill you now." Victoria said as she rocked the "baby sister" in her arms. " I can't keep playing "house" with you."

" So,Melisa."

" My name is Victoria."

" Yeah,but we're playing house. Your name is Melisa. So Melisa,tell me about your day."

Victoria's eye's lit up.

" So I was in Port Angeles hunting some delicious human the other day,right? With my friend Becky and Katie?"

" Uh huh."

" Well,I was like oh my gosh! Becky you are so wearing tennis shoes!" 

" Uh huh."

" And she was like I so am not wearing tennis shoes! These are not tennis shoes! These are from the :::insert some really expense store here::: Right?"

" Uh huh."

" And she says to me,' Victoria! You are wearing purple! We only wear purple on Tuesdays! This is Friday' I was mortified! Could you just imagine how I felt? I thought it was blue! It was purple! I could of died."

" Oh,that's tragic."

" It really is. So I said to her - "

**Downstairs:**

" Why is Bella talking to the soup ladle?" Jasper asked,listening to Bella saying " uh huh" over and over again. he was starting to wonder if she was mentally ill instead of on acid.

" Oh,that's not the soup ladle she's talking to." Emmett smiled,leaning back in his seat,his arms behind his head.  
" It's not?" Everyone asked at once.

" It's Victoria." Emmett nodded,still smiling,not realizing why it's so bad.

Everyone's mouth dropped open.

Carlisle stopped talking.

" Victoria?" Carlisle said slowly.

" Oh." Emmett said,finally realizing what was wrong. " Crud."

**In Edward's room**

**Bella's make believe kitchen**

**Aka**

**The floor next to Edward's couch**

" So then me and Jack were like sitting there like trying to figure out like how she could do that to me,like,I thought she was my friend and then she like,went off and bought those sunglasses without telling me,like friends so don't,like,buy clothes without telling each other,like oh.my.gosh!" Victoria gushed.

" That is no good." Bella shook her head.

" No it totally isn't,Bells! - Can I call you Bells? Oh what does it matter! I'm going to kill you anyways after! Hahaha!"

" Hahaha!"

" So anyways -"

" Bella!" Alice yelled,barging into the room. She stopped,and all the others ran in to see Bella sitting on the floor talking to Victoria while playing with play-doh and baby dolls. " Victoria. Get away from her!"

Edward growled and was about to attack,but Emmett grabbed him by the arm trying to get him to not attack anyone while humans were in the room.

" Me and Victoria are best friends! I'm the mommy and she's the baby! And she's trying to eat her lunch and dessert all gone like a big girl!" Bella smiled. " So can you guys like,chill,for a sec?"

" Like,chill for a sec?" Rosalie said. " What the hell."

" Bye,Bella! I'll kill you some other time,okay?" Victoria asked. She jumped up and ran to the other side of the room and dove out the window."

" Buh bye!" Bella waved,smiling.

The Cullens and the wolf pack just stood,mouth a gape.

" Alright..maybe I need to get my eyes checked.." Embry sighed.

" Maybe we need to stop leaving Bella alone." Carlisle shook his head.


	3. To the mall

**Oh yes,and people: Samara Morgan is from The Ring. ****For all you people that haven't seen it,Samara Morgan's mom pushed her down a well. So she made this video tape and everyone that watches it dies in Seven Days. So Samara calls peoples houses from the well - somehow she has a phone down there? - and says "seven days" then climbs out of their TV and kills them ) for all who don't know.  
**

_**Edward's volvo  
**_

_**The backseat**_

_**Bella is officially psycho**_

_**And stuff**_

" So now where are we going?" Emmett growled. " Why can't we just stay at the house and watch her? Wouldn't it just be so much easier?"

" No,not exactly. Seeing Victoria was there the whole time when we were making plans. She knows everything. We need a knew plan." Alice said. " What it looks like now,Victoria is running around in the woods somewhere. Waiting for us to come back,aparrantly. And we aren't going back. Any ideas,Carlisle?"

" I think we should just stick with the plan,except Bella will not be in our house. We're going to have to find a new sanctuary." Carlisle sighed. " La Push reservation?"

" That goes against the treaty." Edward reminded them.

" But then again,we weren't exactly big fans of the treaty." Alice grinned. " The treaty doesn't promise that we can change Bella into a you know what."

" - and that's never going to happen either." Edward nodded. " Never."

" Oh,quit being a baby." Alice groaned.

" Bigger problems." Rosalie scowled,from the back seat. " Bella is attacking my hair."

" Your hair is trying to take over the world,Rosalie." Bella growled. " Now just let me cut it off!"

" Uh,no?" Rosalie growled.

" Leave . Her . Alone . Rosalie . " Edward snarled.

Rosalie shut up.

" Uh. Maybe we should just stick with that plan? Yes. The reservation. This is an exception. All the werewolves will be there." Carlisle nodded. " Lets go."

" On the beach?" Alice smiled.

" Yes,Alice. The beach." Rosalie rolled her eyes.

" Oh. My. God." Bella grinned.

" Oh lord.." Rosalie groaned.

" I have a great idea!" Bella threw her arms up into the air.

" What would that be?" Carlisle asked,going along with it.

" Lets. Go. Shopping." Bella smiled. " We can make Rosalie wear a dress."

" No! Not a dress!" Rosalie complained. " Help me!"

" I think I like her ideas when she's on acid." Alice smiled. " To the mall!"

" The mall?" Edward raised one eyebrow at them from the rear view mirror.

" Thats not such a bad idea." Carlisle added. " She can't do anything when there is witnesses."

" Like I said." Alice stood up in her seat. " To the mall!"


	4. The wedding dress

" Okay." Carlisle sighed once they reached the mall. " This is going to be an odd trip to the mall."

" Oh no! It's going to be fun!" Bella smiled. She grabbed Carlisle's wrist. " Now let's go pick you out a nice dress for the wedding!"

" Carlisle? In a dress?" Alice laughed.

" I thought Rosalie was going to have to wear it!" Carlisle gasped in horror.

" No!" Rosalie pleaded. " Make him wear it!"

" What wedding?" Emmett asked,walking up from behind them with Jasper and Jacob Black. They took Emmett's truck/keep thing. Not everyone would fit in the volvo. " Who's getting married?"

" You are!" Bella smiled.

" Bella,me and Rose got married last week." Emmett told her.

" Yeah. Only she's not marrying you! Carlisle is! Duh! Thats the point of getting him a dress?" Bella rolled his eyes as if he should know. " Now go find yourself a nice tux and meet us back here in an hour. And go to the toy store and get yourself a new barbie if you want."

" I'm not marrying my father!" Emmett yelled. " And I already have every barbie known to man. I don't need another one." Emmett crossed his arms.

" Don't use that tone of voice with me!" Bella scolded,her eyes narrowed. She was getting scary. Emmett backed up. " Go get a tuxedo! _March_!"

Emmett ran,grabbing Jasper and pulling him with him.

" Now lets go to the wedding gown store." Bella smiled at Carlisle.

Carlisle sighed and turned to Edward.

" Edward,you go with uh,Jacob Black,and the rest of their pack. I suggest you scan the building. She's probably here somewhere." Carlisle said.

The two of them nodded.

" - and I guess,I'm going to get married?" Carlisle whimpered.

Alice,Rosalie,and Bella smiled.

" Be back for the wedding!" Alice called to Edward.

_ Twenty Minutes later_

_ Loretta's Wedding Gowns_

_ The dressing room_

" I can't go through with this!" Carlisle yelled from the other side of the dressing room door.

" Oh,don't worry Lakisha. Everybody has doubts on their wedding gay. Just about every bride in history!" Bella soothed him.

" I'm not having doubts its this dress I - Lakisha?" Carlisle said.

Alice and Rosalie snickered.

All of a sudden Alice bursted out laughing.

" Carlisle! I just had a vision of what you look like!" Alice laughed.

Carlisle groaned. He opened the door and came out of the dressing room.

" Oh Lakisha! You look beautiful! Twirl!" Bella yelled.

Unwillingly,Carlisle twirled around in the wedding dress.

It was a tight and bust hugging at the top with a ribbon around the waist and a bow at the back. The skirt was a hoop skirt and flowed when he walked and twirled and had little sparkley sequins all over it and lace at the bottom. He had a veil on his head also and dainty white gloves. The manager of the store came walking along drinking a cup of coffee. She spotted Carlisle in the wedding dress and stopped,spitting the coffee out of her mouth. Alice and Rosalie laughed.

" Don't make fun of her!" Bella screamed at the manager. " She looks beautiful!"

" I'm a man." Carlisle gritted his teeth.

" Don't remind her," Alice whispered through her laughter into Carlisle's ear.

Bella looked at her wrist.

" Oh! Look! It's time for the wedding!" Bella yelled.

" But you don't have a watch." Rosalie raised one eyebrow. 

" Wheres the ring?!" Bella yelled.

" Uh..we don't have one?" Alice shrugged.

" Nonsense! Can't have a wedding without a ring!"

" Thank god." Carlisle whispered.

" I heard that!" Bella yelled. " Come on! Lets go to the nearest gumball machine place and win ourselves a twenty five cent ring!"

" Only if we can get the pink barbie rings." Alice smiled.

" Yes! Then off to the wedding!"


	5. I can be your girlfriend

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight _or _the song Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne. **

_**Oh yes. This will be a songfic.  
**_

_** While Bella,Alice,Rosalie,and Carlisle were Ring-Shopping**_

Edward and Jacob Black were running all over the mall searching for Victoria. But remember kiddies,its a mall. Sometimes goths go to the mall. Sometimes little children go to the mall. Sometimes mothers with their little innocent adorable children in strollers wander around the mall,shopping and what not. But then again - who else goes to the mall twenty four seven besides hideous,scary,terrifying,cheese ball preppy heads. Meaning Lauren and Jessica Stanley.

Edward stood in the main section of the mall,in the lobby next to some guy selling watches. Jacob Black and him split up. It was easier,seeing that they hate each other's guts and Jake wanted to kill Edward for hurting Bella. So there Edward was,looking around scanning the crowd for the evil redheaded vampire lady. That was when he heard the random background music start to play out of nowhere. And then he felt someone grab him by the shoulder and turn him around. Before he knew it,he was face to face with Jessica Stanley. Jessica pushed him backwards playfully,and gave a little smile.

_" Hey Hey you you I don't like your girlfriend." _Jessica started to sing. She took him by the arm and started twirling and dancing. Then Lauren came out of nowhere. Lauren shoved Jessica out of the way and Jessica fell to the floor. Edward blinked. Lauren put her hands on Edward's shoulders and sang,

_" No way,no way,think ya need a new one." _Jessica got up off of the floor and they both sang,_" Hey Hey you you I can be your girlfriend!"_

Edward started to get freaked out. He turned around away from them and started running at human-speed down the corridor. Up ahead he saw a sign that said Abercrombie. A preppy clothes store for rich snob girls. **(A/N: No offense to anyone who shops there) **He ran in the door to hide from them,and search for Victoria. He ran to the back of the store where he saw someone with red hair. It turned out to be just a teenage girl. He sighed and leaned against a rack full of clothes.

Two hands stuck out from two sweaters and pushed them apart. Jessica's head popped out from the clothes. Edward jumped back. Jessica climbed under the rack of clothes and made her way towards Edward. She wrapped her arms around him and pressed herself up against him. Edward was about to scream when she started singing,

_" Your so fine I want you mine your so delicious._

_ I think about you all the time your so addictive_

_ Don't you know what I can do to make you feel alright?" _

He pushed her off and ran out of the store as fast as he could. He saw a store up ahead called Macy's. That store was just a big department store with so many things to buy and so many places to hide. And look for Victoria. He ran around in circles searching for a place to hide. He thought it was safe to hide in furniture section. There was a big bed and comforter set on sale for $ 699. He ran over and hid behind a sign. Then he saw Lauren's head pop out from under the bed. She climbed out and Edward stared in horror. Lauren put a hand on Edward's muscles,smiling and sang,

_" Don't pretend I know you think I'm damn precious_

_ And hell yeah._

_ I'm the mother fuckin princess._

_ You like me too and you know I'm right," _

Edward turned around to run but Jessica was right behind him. Jessica smiled and the two of them sang:

_" Bella's like, _

_ So whatever_

_ You can do_

_ So much better_

_ I think we should get together now_

_ Thats what everyone's talking about!"_

Edward growled. He threw his hands up in the air and screamed. Lauren and Jessica backed up,scared. Edward narrowed his eyes at them and ran his fingers through his hair with frustration.

" I am not dating Bella!" Edward yelled.

" Oh." Jessica said,flushing red.

" And I'm not dating you either!" Edward yelled.

" Oh." Lauren said,humiliated by the scene they were making and the fact that he's not even dating Bella. Or them.

" Leave me alone." Edward growled

He ran off to go find Victoria and wasn't bothered by them anymore.


End file.
